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Yes! I has been a minute since I posted. Whoops! Here is 8300 words to make up for it.

I have been known to dabble in gaming from time to time. I would not say I am a verified gamer™️, but I have a switch and I like the games I like. If you were to ask me what my favourite game ever was, I would probably tell you either Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door, or Breath of the Wild. (Truly I am a nintendo girl) These would both technically be lies. 

Truthfully, my favourite video game series of all time is the Nancy Drew PC game series by Her Interactive. To me though, this series is kinda more than just a series of point-and-click puzzle games made primarily for children and tweens. I think it had a huge effect on me, from my sense of humor, to how nosy I am, to the fact that I am getting a history degree. I loved everything Nancy Drew as a kid, and still do, but specifically the games are very, VERY dear to me. (As will become clear throughout this post) SO I have naturally decided that I need to rank them. What I very quickly realized when I sat down to work on this is that this was a very hard thing for me to do. There is a very small amount of them that I would say are not good, and after that it made me very sad to place some so low. Also! This is list is EXTREMELY biased. As these are very near and dear to me, my rankings are very much based on my personal connections and memories. (Though I think my top ten ARE very good) 

I will start with a quick break down of what exactly I’m talking about. The Nancy Drew Game series is a series of 33 point-and-click games. You will notice that my list only contains 32. This is because I will not be including #33, Midnight in Salem because this is a SAFE SPACE for me and I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe another day, but today is for the classics. The series began with #1, Secrets can Kill in 1997. I’m not gonna discuss the state of the games today, because I prefer to wait until the story unfolds and also, as before I do not want to talk about it. Anyways, in each game you play as Nancy and you solve a mystery by talking to people, exploring, solving puzzles, very straightforward. Each game is usually themed around an era of history or a different country. Usually, as someone who has played all of these games multiple times, I can complete one in a couple hours, but it varies widely by game. When I was a child, some of them would take me weeks to solve, and I really have no idea how long it would take an un-initiated adult. Probably also just a few hours, but they would be a great few hours. It’s also important to take into account that there is junior and senior detective mode which changes how hard the puzzles are.  

ANYWAYS, here is my current ranking of all of them. I don’t know if I’m doing this to get more people to play these games, I think it’s more for me. BUT if you are interested, please hit me up I know all the tricks to get them to run on different computers! (Also they are usually like, $7 or so online, so it’s a low-commitment endeavor if you are interested!)

(Last note, I swear! I will also often be using the official shorthand names for the games, which I will list with each title so no one gets confused)

32. #20 Ransom of the Seven Ships (RAN)

 I mentioned in the preamble that there are only a couple games that I think are not good. This is probably one of the only ones that I would say is fully bad. So, for context: There was a lot of hype for this one. In every game, Nancy is able to call her friends, usually either Bess and George, or her boyfriend,  Ned. (These are essential Nancy Drew book characters) There was usually a little story going on with them, like you’ll call them and oh! Bess and George are painting Bess’ room and so every time you call them you get an update on what they’re up to, it’a very cute. However, it became a joke over the first 19 games that you never see their faces. Like, they’d send you a picture but it would be all blurry or something. (You also never see Nancy’s face) Also, it should be noted that at the end of every game, there is a teaser for the next one. SO flashback to me being 8 years old: My sister and I spend WEEKS (maybe months, it caused us a lot of trouble) trying to beat The Haunting of Castle Malloy. We finally finish it, and the teaser for RAN tells us that Nancy is gonna go on vacation to a remote island with stuff about the history of Spanish conquistadors WITH Bess and George AND we’re actually going to see them. We were very excited. Then we got the game.

The crux of the game is that Bess has been kidnapped, even though there seems to only be you, George, and this one other random guy on the island. Half the fun of these games is the characters, so already this is a loss. And sorry to spoil it, (though none of you are going to play this, you actually can’t buy it anymore because it is also kinda racist!) but the random guy did it. He reveals himself to be the villain from Stay Tuned for Danger, which had come out like, 10 years prior to this one, so half the people didn’t know who he was. There are zero clues that hint to him having done it, and it’s just.. not a good reveal. Furthermore, the puzzles are just generally mid. There are a whole lot of cryptograms, which I actually usually like, but it gets mega-repetitive. As well, this game features one of the most infamous puzzles, which is an infuriating one where you have like 10 different hourglasses and you have to time each of them and individually and try to flip them all at the right time so that they all finish at the same time. I don’t know if that description gets across how terrible it is, but I assure you it is bad. In conclusion, bad game!

31. #30 The Shattered Medallion (MED)

Another case of grand expectations! I don’t know if they planned to do a think where every five games they were gonna do something crazy (you will see this with #25 as well) BUT this one also failed to live up to the hype it garnered. Basically, throughout the games where Nancy is doing a job or an internship (starting in #6) there was this recurring gag of the person who worked there before her having been this guy named Sonny Joon. He actually played a weirdly large role in the plot of DAN, and sorta in TMB, but often it was just like, doodles in the margins of your employee handbook or something. You knew that he was obsessed with aliens and conspiracy theories, and loved Koko Kringles (an iconic candy bar in the franchise) ((there is actually a whole product line of recurring candy products, shoutout to Utter pops )) So the thing about this game is that he was actually going to show up! You were gonna meet Sonny Joon! For some reason, they decided that this would come about with Nancy, Bess, and George competing on an Amazing-Race-ish style game show in New Zealand that he runs. I dunno man. This one is better in that there are more characters than in RAN, and Sonny is actually kinda fun, and also there are some better puzzles. Though, this one also has an infuriatingly difficult final puzzle. The real issue though is that the mystery just like, doesn’t make sense. There are like, vague instances of things going wrong around the game show, and then this person is like YES I DID THIS and it’s like… okay cool. And then Sonny Joon says okay also this was all a ploy for me to find out information about the Anunnaki. Which has nothing to do with what the villain was up to. I don’t know if this one would be considered quite so terrible if it weren’t for how good it SHOULD have been, but it is very much a let down. (Literally you have an alien-obsessed character…. SET THE GAME IN ROSWELL. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY)

30. #15 Creature of Capu Cave (CRE)

I’m not sure if this is a hot take or not? I think this game is definitely not beloved by I don’t know if other people dislike it as much as I do. You are in Hawaii with the Hardy Boys! They were also recurring phone characters prior to this, though they did already make a physical appearance in TRN two games before this. (Idk why they put them in two games so close to each other like that and then in no others) They are fun and I like them. That is really the main good thing and everything else is just solidly mid. I remember my sister and I being so shocked when we were kids because we finished it in a weekend. Just kinda bare-bones and not super interesting. Also the bad guys are native Hawaiians trying to tell the government labs or whatever to go away so. That’s there.

29. #1 Secrets Can Kill (SCK) (+the Remastered Edition)

Okay so now we’re done with the ones I think are kinda bad and onto the ones that are just kinda eh. I’m putting the original SCK and the remastered into one slot because it really doesn’t feel fair to judge the originals against the newer ones. The animation is totally different, the puzzles work totally differently, and the tone hadn’t really been set yet. The remastered is better and more in-line with the other games, but since they had to go off of the original, the mystery is still kinda meh. Well, kinda. This one also stands out from the others due to its wildly different tone and subjects matter. SCK shows Nancy investigating the murder of a high school student in a small town in Florida. It is weirdly dark, as you come to realize that everybody in this town fucking hated the guy who died and really aren’t that sad about it. A large part of the story is focused on prescription drug abuse, which is definitely a lot. I do kinda fuck with them for going dark right away, and honestly it kinda works better in the original than in the remake, which was softened a whole lot. The most notable story change between the two games is that the villain and therefor the ending are totally different. I do understand why they changed it, as the villain in the original is a guy you have never seen before, but I do wish the remake still ended with Nancy saving the day by pointing a gun at the bad guy. Give Nancy her gun back.

28. 22# Trail of the Twister (TWI)

Nancy goes storm-chasing! But oooh who could be sabotaging the team’s equipment? This one kinda just fails to be great due to it’s not that exciting setting. I feel like tornadoes and stuff can be cool, but you’re just kinda driving around Kansas or wherever for a lot of this game. Another meh factor is that you spend WAY too much time doing chores in this one. You have to do this one stupid mouse trap puzzle like five times, and it is barely interesting the first time around. It isn’t all bad, there are some better puzzles, and this one has one of my favourite “game you can play within the game to earn money” of the whole series. (Honestly I could probably make a list of just those) Also, shoutout to the local shop owner’s weirdly sad backstory about his wife dying in a tornado. Honestly I think he should have been behind it all.

27. #26 Tomb of the Lost Queen (TMB)

This one is on here honestly because I just find it extremely forgettable. And that’s sad! Egypt! That should be fun! I don’t know, I think I tend to be less into the games about ~mysterious accidents~ In this one, someone is going around sabotaging an archeological site, which is at least more my thing than storm-chasing. Exploring the tomb is cool, but I do find it weirdly difficult to navigate and am often very lost. Also, there is really just one location in this game; you are either in the tomb, or in the tents outside the tomb, and that’s kinda lame. I also generally don’t find the characters super memorable, though I do like Jamila! Turns out thinking that the aliens built the pyramids is not just for men. I also like that they did do some foreshadowing of MED with all the Sonny Joon stuff, I really like that progression and the fact that they put that much thought in, but I think the fact that MED was so disappointing makes all the stuff they did here less exciting. All in all, it’s fine, just forgettable.

#2 Stay Tuned for Danger, STD

Yes that is an unfortunate shortened name. Nancy is in New York! This one also feels very different from the others, though it’s getting closer than SCK was. This one doesn’t have much of a historical element, the gimmick is more that you’re on a tv set. A soap opera star is getting threats and dodging accidents, and she has to figure out who’s doing it! This one is also pretty simple, but the improvements from SCK are impressive. Most notable is the character models changing from 2D to 3D, which in truth does not look great, but is charming in a late 90s-early 2000s kind a way. Also this one has some memorable characters! Shoutout Rick and Millie. One day I too want to be an old woman in the prop department of a studio who only answers questions if you can answer my riddles.This one is mainly so low due to its simplicity, but that is totally understandable due to its age. I still really like this one, but I think if you played it today with no nostalgia or particular reverence for janky 3D character models, it might not do much for you. You DO get to diffuse a bomb though so. Slay.

25. #8 The Haunted Carousel (CAR)

Okay so I really wish this one went a little harder. I replayed a couple of these while I had covid two weeks ago and this one kinda disappointed me. I should NOT have been bored by a game about a haunted carousel! More mysterious accidents here, like roller coasters malfunctioning and stuff. I don’t know, something about this one just feels kinda shallow. The environment is pretty boring which is tragic because it’s a theme park! It should be fun! But you kinda just click on where you want to go on a map and then see a building in a concrete lot and then you are inside. It doesn’t feel like you do a lot of exploring. Also, none of the characters are particularly interesting, which is crazy as one of them has a storyline about discovering a robot that her dad built her to help her remember her dead mother. The historical aspect is pretty weak, as you just learn some surface-level stuff a bout carousel horses. I do respect that as it is weird niche topic, but nothing feels that substantive. However, I would not say this is actively bad, just kinda boring.

24.#17 Legend of the Crystal Skull (CRY)

I mean, it is definitely better than the Indiana Jones movie! You’re in New Orleans visiting Nancy’s boyfriend’s friend who just inherited a weird old house from his uncle that has a bunch of puzzles and things in it, as well as clues to find the mysterious crystal skull, which is maybe magic? This one features an exceptionally iconic opening cutscene in which Nancy arrives at this spooky old house and finds a weird guy in a skeleton costume who immediately knocks her unconscious. This scared me very much when I was a kid. This skeleton guy turns out to be part of a sort-of cult that you DO get to infiltrate, which is fun. This one’s mystery and characters are a little lacking, and you spend WAY too much time hunting down this old man’s lost collection of glass eyes. But, it definitely excels in the style department. The spooky house is cool, and you get to wander around the scary cemetery on the estate. However, this does get a little limiting, and there isn’t a ton of other places to explore. This one is kind of a case of really high highs but pretty low lows.

23.#31 Labyrinth of Lies (LIE)

Oh boy. This one was certainly very ambitious! Nancy goes to Greece! Someone is stealing things from a museum and replacing them with forgeries! The suspects are all actors performing in a production of the story of Hades and Persephone. I want to like this one so much! Basically, in a lot of the later games they tried to insert a little more emotional depth into the games. Sometimes this works really well (as you will see later on) but other times it gets very messy. In this case it gets messy. I don’t want to go too deep into the details because this is one that people might actually play because it’s pretty easy to access, and it is definitely still worth playing! But basically the last quarter or so of the game gets very weird and confusing and everyone only talks to you with very vague threatening dialogue. I DO appreciate the drama of it, but it just isn’t executed very well. Speaking of drama, half of this game takes place in the wackiest locations maybe in the whole series. You spend a huge amount of time wandering around these underground sets that I cannot fathom could ever work like this in real like. There is real lava?? It seems?? It makes absolutely zero sense but it is kinda fun. I will say that even if the drama isn’t great, the characters are super memorable and mainly pretty cool!

22.14 Danger by Design (DAN)

France! Fashion! Nancy goes to intern for a designer in Paris, and also finds a bunch of art the Nazis stole! The setup of this one is that this designer is acting very strangely and erratically, even covering her face completely with a white mask. Nancy has been sent there to pretend to be her intern but really to figure out what the fuck is going on with her. Also, the designer works out of an old Moulin, and you learn about the history of the building and the woman who used to live there, which includes a tragic love story. (These games LOVE tragic love story histories) Minette, the designer you’re working for, is definitely a memorable figure, and I like that this is one of the games where you can choose a certain aspect of the ending. Basically you find out that your coworker did something morally questionable, and you can choose wether or not to get her fired! It doesn’t have a huge effect on the story, but in games where the story is often very very linear, it’s nice to have little moments of choice. I want to say DAN loses points for its notoriously difficult and frustrating darkroom puzzle, BUT they did implement a cheat into the game that lets you skip it, which is considerate. Also this game ends with a puzzle where you have to fist fight the bad guy, which is very funny. This is the case of a game that is good but just not quite great.

21.#27 The Deadly Device (DED)

After years of avoiding it, they decided to bring back the murder investigation! Here, this scientist has been electrocuted in a way that doesn’t really make sense, and Nancy poses as an intern (as usual) to figure it out. This one is pretty standard, and had some really fun puzzles, but the setting is kinda boring. You’re in a lab… and that’s it. You can’t leave the building, so it gets a little boring. You get to learn about Nikola Tesla though, so that is fun! 

20.#12 Secret of the Old Clock (CLK)

It’s 1933! While every other game takes place in modern times, this one is out of the timeline and pays homage to the original books. For those not in the know, Secret of the Old Clock is the title of the first Nancy Drew book. This game is mainly based on that, but takes elements from a couple other of the books from the 30s, including my favourite, Mystery at the Lilac Inn. The story is that Nancy’s friend Emily’s mother had just died, and she’s also found out that even though her old neighbour always told them that he would leave them a lot of money when he died, his will claimed that he left it all to his weirdo mentalist teacher who now just lives in his house. Also, there are of course mysterious accidents. But! They are not the only thing going on, so it’s better. I always think the games tend to feel better when the puzzles are there for an explained reason. Sometimes there will be games where stuff is locked behind weird puzzles and it doesn’t really make any sense, like why would someone’s laptop be locked with a jigsaw puzzle? But usually they give reasons, and the reason is usually that a weird old person made a bunch of puzzles. This is the case here! This one also has a lot of fun wacky 30s stuff in it, like the thing you can do to make extra money is drive telegrams around the town, and there’s a little side story you can discover, as well as just a bunch of cute 30s details and jokes. Also, a bunch of Shakespeare references! Fun! Minigolf! Fishing! Lots of good stuff here.

19. #21 Warnings at Waverly Academy (WAV)

I actually have signifiant beef with this game because it is currently impossible to play on mac! Usually, you can wineskin the other games but this one has a bug so you just can’t progress past a certain point. This makes me very sad. One day I will get a new non-mac laptop and I will return to it. Otherwise, this one is fun! Nancy goes to a fancy New England boarding school where the candidates for valedictorian are being mysteriously picked off one by one by some called “The Black Cat.” This game deals a ton with Edgar Allen Poe stuff, which I love! Shoutout to Poe way to write the longest sentences anyone has ever seen. This one is also fun because all the characters are bitchy, way too ambitious teenage girls, and Nancy is canonically very socially weird and tactless and loved horse t-shirts, so there’s a fun dynamic. This game also taught me all the different types of silverware so now I seem very fancy when I explain it to people.

18. #6 Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake (DOG)

Nancy goes to stay in a cabin that once belonged to a notorious gangster from 20s who also happened to have four big dogs that he loved very much. He also supposedly left a treasure somewhere, saying that if someone wanted to find it they had to follow the dogs. I generally like the treasure hunt-esque games because it helps with that whole “it makes sense that there are weird puzzles everywhere” thing. Though the down side to this is that it often means that the villain is just kinda greedy instead of having a more interesting motivation, as is the case here. The characters are kinda lacking in general in this one, but I really like the setting. It’s so good at being peaceful during the day but creepy at night (as forests tend to be) and also lots of fun history about prohibition and bootlegging! Dog-themed speakeasy that you access through a crypt! Slay!

17. #4 Treasure in a Royal Tower (TRT)

Okay we finally figured out what we’re doing! I would probably argue that #3 is when they finally get the feel of the game right (which is why that one is higher up) but this one is also great! Nancy is trying to go skiing in Vermont in this chateau but there is a huge snowstorm and no one can leave! Also, one of the towers was brought over from France and is said to house jewels that belonged to Marie Antoinette. However, the door to the tower is sealed! Despite only taking place in one location, there’s so many hidden rooms and passageways in the castle that it manages not to get boring. Also some really iconic characters in this one! Shoutout to the most prominent weird old lady in the whole series, Professor Beatrice Hotchkiss! Queen! This is also the first time that the villain was a woman! Slay! 

16. #9. Danger on Deception Island (DDI)

This is another one of the games I replayed while I had covid and honestly I liked it way more than I remembered it! I wrote out my first draft of this lift and like half of the paragraphs before I got sick, and I had this one listed at like, #22 and it deserves higher than that! Nancy goes to stay with George’s fried Katie on Deception Island in the Pacific North West. But when you get there, the boat she lives on is totally trashed. Also, there is a mysterious orca in the harbour that is getting way too close to the boats, and it is causing a big commotion in the town because they can’t decide what to do with it. This game heavily features a favourite trope of mine, small town politics! Also, an eccentric old woman who you communicate with by flashing morse code out of a light house! I think that is great stuff. The vibe is really good too, they did a good job communicating how grey and stormy this town is, while still making some parts feel lively. It’s not a super deep game, but it features a lot of fun puzzles and little details that really made me enjoy my time with it.

15. #24 Captive Curse (CAP)

Germany! Nancy goes to investigate monster attacks in an old German castle town. This town has may stories about girls being abducted by a monster over the past couple centuries, and they tend to follow similar patterns. This one really stands out to me because of its emphasis on cycles and the whole “this has all happened before” shtick. I eat that narrative up every time. Also it pretty heavily features a Ned subplot and I am a certified Ned stan, so I obviously like that. I think it is very funny that canonically Nancy is just like, a pretty bad girlfriend and this is often acknowledged. She’s just a little too much of a girl boss and sometimes this means she will forget to tell you that she’s gone to Germany and skipped out on your anniversary. Sorry. I really love the environment in this game too the castle is really beautiful and the woods are spooky and there’s a lot of great dialogue! Also this miiiiight be one of my favourite money-making activities? You play a made-up board game because Germany. Raid slays and I would love to play it in real life. Honestly, this probably should be higher on the list than it is because it really is great, but unfortunately I didn’t own this one when I was a kid so it does not have as much sentimental value as the ones above it. Yes I am shallow.

14. #32. Sea of Darkness (SEA)

Okay so sorry to CAP because this one also isn’t mega nostalgic just because it came out in like 2015 but mmmmmmmmmm they did a good job. This is the most recent game on this list and it is immediately apparent by the graphics. I don’t know what happened between LIE and this but they really stepped it up here. The characters all look great and the environment is really beautiful. You’re in Iceland trying to solve the disappearance of a sailor and find some lost treasure! The little town you’re in is once again, beautiful. As I said before, they really tried to step up the emotional depth in the later games, and this one is a great example of that! All the characters are well fleshed-out and have some really compelling conflicts. (Huge shoutout to the villain in this one they have a really good monologue) ALSO this one has the first canon gay character! It is very subtly inserted in the game because these have a huge southern christian fanbase (and they got VERY mad) Literally all it is is that one lady is referenced to have an ex wife (whom she owes a lot of money- is she trying to steal the treasure to pay it off? Who’s to say?) This game is great. Boy, imagine if they had kept on this path!

13. #3. Message in a Haunted Mansion (MHM)

So this one is probably objectively, not as good a game as many of the ones i have placed it above. HOWEVER, it did really solidify the tone and feel of the series and for that I have to place it pretty high. Nancy goes to stay in this old mansion in San Francisco, which is, as the title explains, apparently haunted. Once again, strange accidents are occurring! Also, ghost sightings! This one was also the first to integrate a historical aspect, so that’s huge! It discusses the history of different groups that immigrated to San Francisco, mainly focusing on Chinese culture, and if I recall correctly, some Spanish as well. The mansion is fun to explore, and there are a lot of fun little spooky sound and visual effects that randomly occur as you walk around, which really gives it that haunted house vibe. The characters aren’t crazy interesting, but for an early game, they are pretty memorable. This one really earned its place just by being such an important turning point in the series.

12. #12. Phantom of Venice (VEN)

Okay so now we’re getting into prime sentimentality. I used to go over to my friend’s house every week to play this with her. We spent so fucking long on it. Because of this, I know it VERY well. Nancy is in Venice working with the Italian police trying to solve a recent string of jewel thefts! This is absolutely fucking absurd and I love it. This game also taught me how to play Scopa, so shoutout to Scopa! This one definitely puts you in consistently very high-stakes situations due to the whole police thing. You get to spy on a socialite dinner, and then also steal a sapphire in a catsuit! Also, there is an extremely iconic moment near the beginning of the game in which Nancy meets a guy who is mega into her and really wants to show her all his assorted tesserae. This launches you into a loop of him mansplaining tiles to you, and the only way to get out of it is to be like hey yeah this is cool but I kinda have other stuff to do.. and then he basically tells you that he thought you were different but it seems you really are just like the other girls…. I learned many important lessons from these games. Also later you get to poison him so shoutout to that.

11. #19 Haunting of Castle Malloy (HAU)

From VEN forward, these are all very, VERY dear to me. Assume I have played them through many times. This one is also special to me because it was the first game that my sister and I got when it was newly released. Nancy goes to Ireland for her friend’s wedding in a spooky castle, but oh no! The groom is missing! Where could he be? Could his disappearance have to do with the rumours that people have been seeing and hearing a banshee around town?? This one gets points for absolutely fucking terrifying me when I was a kid. I would say this is the one I was second most afraid of. (The first will come later) The castle is genuinely very spooky, and there were parts of this game that I used to beg my parents to come play with me because I was too scared. If you are an adult, I do not think you will have this reaction. However, I was 8 years old, so I think we can let that slide. This game just has such a great ambiance and some really memorable puzzles involving a lot of fun old-timey science stuff, as the story is that the castle you’re in used to be the home of a scientist working with the allies during World War 2, but his whole family died and a bunch of the castle was destroyed when an experiment of his went wrong. You do also beat this game by successfully launching a rocket, which unquestionably rules.

10. #16. White Wolf of Icicle Creek (ICE)

Top ten! The good stuff! I think this is maybe actually the game I have spent the most time playing? This is the Canadian one! Woo hoo! Nancy plans to go on vacation at a ski lodge in the Rockies, but you guessed it, there are mysterious accidents afoot! Also, a wolf that just seems to keep showing up after they happen! (Actually the setup of this one is pretty similar to DAN) However, these are some pretty considerable accidents, as right when the game starts, a fucking building blows up. This game is notable for having Nancy be forced to be both maid and cook at this lodge, so actually a big part of it is keeping you eye on the time so that you can get back to cook meals on time, and remembering to pick up people’s laundry. This sounds kinda tedious but I love cooking mini games so I find it very charming. Also, if you ever get stuck, you at least can go cook for fun. The characters are very fun, and you get to know them intimately as their is a part of the game in which you have to get them all to fill out a survey for.. reasons. I hope you like discussing paprika! The mystery of this game isn’t crazy compelling, it’s mysterious accidents and a kinda lost treasure-type plot that we see many times, but it’s just so iconic and charming. i kinda gotta take off some points for the amount of fox and geese you have to play, though. Just a little too much fox and geese. Oh! Also this game introduced a new UI that they used until TMB and it is absolutely the best on in the series.

9. #6. Secret of the Scarlet Hand (SSH)

This was the first one i ever played!!! Very very near and dear to my heart!!! Nancy goes to intern at a museum in Washington, D.C. that’s currently putting on an exhibit all about the Maya! However, a jade carving of Kind Pacal goes missing, and the thief left behind only a scarlet handprint! Genuinely like 75% of this game is studying Maya history. I remember the notebook that my mom my sister and I used while playing this, and we filled like 10 pages with notes. It is honestly probably not that fun if you do not care about the Maya, but I have so many fond memories of this game that I do not care. This is also the first appearance of Sonny Joon- which is fun! As well, it raises issues like hey, isn’t this exhibit a form of colonialism? And I think it was good that I was exposed to that concept when I was 6. Also, a guy falls down the stairs of a Maya temple and gets amnesia and to me, that is iconic and beyond reproach.

8. #9. The Silent Spy (SPY)

So. A lot of people don’t like this one very much. And I think they are WRONG. Once again, we see the later-games trend of really striving for more emotional stories and this is very very much that. Nancy goes to Scotland- which is where her mother died. Supposedly, she died in a car accident, but you quickly learn that she was a actually a spy who died diffusing a biochemical weapon created by a Scottish terrorist group. This game probably features the most high-stakes plot, as is somewhat apparent from that description. I think people don’t like this one because you spend a lot of time doing stuff like arguing with your dad over the phone and flashing back to Nancy childhood memories of her mom. For some reason, Her Interactive lists this as a great game for new players and that is the dumbest thing in the world. This game is for people like me who want to sit and play as their fictional childhood hero crying over letters her mom wrote her about how much she liked horse t-shirts. Also, stopping terrorists. You also do that.

7. #5. The Final Scene (FIN)

Mmmmmmm good stuff. The best of the early era. Nancy’s friend Maya is going to interview a movie star right before his movie is set to premier in a historic theatre in Minneapolis. But then, she gets kidnapped right out of his dressing room! This is especially bad because the theatre is set to be demolished in three days. FIN explores the history of old-school magicians à la Harry Houdini and his peers, and features some great art deco aesthetics. It’s also all about the important of architectural preservation! The game also has some really memorable dialogue as it presents Nancy at probably her most tactless- which is a good thing.

6. #23. Shadow at the Water’s Edge (SHA)

THIS is the game that scared me the most in my youth. Nancy goes on vacation at a traditional ryokan in Kyoto (shoutout Phoebe) but oooooooooh it’s hauuuunted. Coincidentally, by the dead mother of the woman that runs it. Her mother drowned in the baths, and now she is scaring the shit out of 10 year old me. I will link the scene that gave a genuine nightmare here, though i do strongly doubt it will have that same effect on grown adults. Just try to image you are a very easily scared 10 year old girl who did not expect that to happen playing in her basement with the lights turned off. Anyways, this gets points for being very effective at scaring me, as well as it’s very, very sad vibe. I think it’s the music, but a big part of this game is the family that own the ryokan being unable to process their grief, and that feeling is felt throughout the whole game. Even the parts that don’t take place at the hotel just have this looming sense of sadness and it’s just really impressive that they were able to communicate that. This is the first one where I think they really actually tapped in to some deeper themes and emotions and I just really respect that. There’s all this talk of tradition vs. innovation and what counts as honouring the memory of the deceased vs. wallowing in the past and I just remember being really affected as a kid. Also, this does feature one of my favourite characters ever, shoutout to Yumi! This is also genuinely acknowledge as one of the hardest games, skill-wise, so I guess they were really using the ante in a bunch of ways.

5. #12. Curse of Blackmoor Manor (CUR)

Classic!!!!! This just has good vibes. Nancy goes to England because her neighbour’s daughter just married into a very rich family that own a huge manor. However, this daughter is mysteriously ill and will not come out from behind a curtain. She is convinced she is turning into a werewolf. Points alone for that premise, that is very fun! This just has a really great environment. The manor has been in this family for centuries, and there is a really detailed history to go a long with it. They made a huge family tree and came up with loads of little details for a bunch of the family members that aren’t even technically relevant to the story, but just really flesh things out. This also sorta features my favourite trope of “weird old person makes puzzles” except its more “weird old people each make one puzzle.” This is still good. The characters that are around the house aren’t really much to write home about, but everything else is so interesting and detailed that it kinda doesn’t matter.

4. #29. Ghost of Thornton Hall (GTH)

Mmmmm alright so this is the one where they really started going for it with the stories. This, like SHA is a very sad game, but it goes waaaaay darker than SHA. It also starts off with a very similar premise to HAU, which is that someone has gone missing right before there wedding, and also oooooh there is maybe a ghost around! However, this time it is a bride. The thing about Thornton Hall though is that it is located in the Southern States. (I cannot remember exactly where but I’m pretty sure it is Georgia?) And also the family- the Thorntons have had this house and family business for a very long time. Do you see where this is going? They never outright talk about slavery which maybe is a little disappointing but they do not totally shy away from it either. I am a sucker for evil rich family drama and evil Southern family drama is maybe even better. The ghost that is supposedly haunting the grounds is the matriarch’s cousin who died mysteriously on her 21st birthday, and her sister was blamed and subsequently lost her mind and ran away. Also, there is significant hinting at incest? The whole thing is like, very very dark and serious. It also comes with multiple endings! They are all very sad, and in a couple of them, you can choose what characters to let die! GTH is generally just kinda wildly ambitious and I really respect it for that! This came out when I was about 14, so I was surprised but not like, too shaken up about it but I genuinely do not know how I would have processed all this when I was like, 9. I think i would have been fine. I really think that kids can handle a lot more in their stories than we give them credit for and I like it when I see things that aren’t afraid to get dark.

3. #25. Alibi in Ashes (ASH)

So remember when I said earlier that they seemed to want to do some fun reveal every five games, but that #20 and #30 were really bad? Well, this is the exception! I think this is another one that people don’t necessarily love, but they are wrong AGAIN! ASH takes place in River Heights (which is Nancy’s hometown for those not in the know) and Nancy is framed for arson! She is in jail and you have to also play as her friends to help get her out! This game is full fan service and I am a fan so that is fine. As well- this features small town political drama, something i love, as well as some aspects of the “this has all happened before” trope I was saying I loved so much. I think that the characters are very memorable, Deirdre, the mean girl who apparently has hated Nancy for years, even became a regular phone character after this! There is also the aspect of changing characters which imo is pretty fun. There’s a mechanic where you have to talk to people a couple times while playing as different characters, because they will tell you different things depending on who you are, and I think that’s fun. Also, it’s just full of references to the games and books and just makes me :)

2. #10. Secret of Shadow Ranch (SSR)

The absolute winner if I was ranking tragic love stories. Nancy goes to a ranch in Arizona owned by Bess and George’s aunt and uncle, and oohhhhhh mysterious accidents and a ghost!!!! Yes, this again. But, the ghost is a horse this time. However, that is not the important part of the premise. The ghost is supposedly the horse of legendary outlaw, Dirk Valentine. When he was alive, Dirk was in love with Frances Humber, who lived at Shadow Ranch. (Those in the know are like ahh yes I see why you are drawn to this) However, Frances’ father forbade her from seeing him and stole all the letters that he wrote her so that she would think he had forgotten about her. Then, he hanged Dirk. You uncover all this as well as the letters from Dirk, which tell you how to find some buried treasure. Something that really makes this backstory stand out to me is the voice acting they did. Usually, letters and diaries you find in this games don’t come with voice acting- you just read them. But, for the Dad’s diary and all the love letters, they decided to do full voice acting and those guys just fucking killed it. Also, there are a million iconic puzzles in this game that are in-game explained to be there because Frances loved puzzles and Dirk wanted to make it fun for her. Also, he based all of them of of her favourite things, like her favourite flowers or her favourite cake or song, etc. I am only occasionally a huge romantic, but maybe read back this 8000+ word document I am writing about how much I love puzzle games and maybe you will guess that I get very sappy about this one. Also, just a fun atmosphere, lots of fun cowboy characters, acknowledgement of the history of indigenous people in the old west, and Nancy getting to live out her horse girl dreams I just really really love this. Here’s Shorty!

1. #13. Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon. (TRN)

TRAIN MYSTERY. YES I AM A TRAIN MYSTERY PERSON. A HAUNTED TRAIN MYSTERY. This also features a semi tragic romance! Not quite the level of SHA but man, if my husband owned a train in the 1800s I would also want him to build me a beautiful car to dance and display my dolls in. Nancy get invited by this universe’s Paris Hilton stand-in (because it was the mid 2000s) to go solve a mystery on a haunted train! Well, actually Nancy gets invited by the Hardy Boys, in their first in-game appearance! Also invited on this train are a ghost hunter, a stupid fake hero cop, and a romance novelist. The mystery you’re trying to solve is that of Jake Hurley’s hidden mine. This was the guy who owned the train, and he supposedly had some crazy plentiful mine somewhere in Colorado, but he devised a series of puzzles that you have to solve to find it, obviously. I just fucking love this game. The train is so cool, and as you progress through the game you get to go to different locations, and the puzzles feel so natural integrated into the environment. Also, I looove the characters in this game. Basically everybody except you and the Hardy Boys just like, suck and kinda hate you and I always think that’s funny. Generally I also like the Hardy boys and this is a much better showing than in CRE. Genrally just some really fun dialogue and good moments throughout. All the pieces in the puzzle fit together so naturally and mmmm I just really love it. Maybe I just want to solve a mystery on a train. Also, this game is partly about how important friendship is! And this resonates with me because I for one, love my friends. Please reach out if any of you want to solve a mystery on a train.

Okay so. That was that! This took a very long time. I don’t know what I expect you to do with this list, but hey, not everything has to have a reason. If you’re interested in this topic, shoot me an email at hoaxgirl2000@gmail.com. I would gladly discuss these games with you, or if you have never played any, gladly give you a bespoke recommendation and point you in the direction of where to find them. I wish you a very tactless and nosey day.